Birth Story

Queenjustine - Traumatic vaginal birth first time round

I'm thinking of trying for my second baby but cannot decide wether I should try to arrange an elective c-section or have a vaginal birth. My previous experience of a vaginal birth left me with post traumatic stress (which I've since received counselling for).

My baby had shoulder dystosia and after a long induction and 2 days in hospital in severe pain she was delivered in theatre. She had to be 'screwed' out by ventouse with 3 doctors pushing my stomach from the outside to try and get her out. I also had a 3 layer episiotomy. I'd been in a lot of pain before going to theatre as epidural ran out after I'd been pushing for 4 hours with everyone saying they could see the head. The whole thing left me devastated and was made worse by an 8 day stay in hospital due to baby being ill with an infection due to my waters breaking 2 days before they decided to induce me. I was also suffering from panic attacks which I'd never had before. Reading this now I can't believe I'd want to do it all again but I do and I've reached a point where the desire for a baby is more than the fear of having one. Now I just need to decide what to do. Never having experience of a c-section before I also have no friends that have had one. The only person I know is my mum! That was 26 years ago with my sister and obviously times change so if anybody can tell me what it's truely like I would appreciate it. I'm terrified of surgery an know this won't be an easy decision to make but I'm also terrified of having a natural birth go wrong.

Comment from Leigh - 28 Mar 2006

Very sorry to hear about your traumatic experience last time, but it is fantastic news that you feel ready to try again.

My own planned caearean was a very calm experience. While I definitely found that there was quite a bit of discomfort in the first week following surgery, it was not painful and certainly did not stop me caring for my baby in every way (breastfeeding, lifting, carrying, walking to meet other mums etc.). I personally believe that much of my emotional and physical well being (both during the surgery and afterwards) is very much down to the fact that I had not first gone through hours and hours of trying to deliver vaginally. If you want to read my whole experience you can read it here.

The advantage of a planned caesarean is that you have plenty of time to prepare. You can write a birth plan making specific requests about how you would like the experience to proceed (wherever possible). Check out: http://www.csections.org/planning.php The whole process in unrushed and perhaps most significantly it is not starting from a point of fear and pain as many emergency caesareans will unfortunately have to by the very fact that an emergency has arisen.

All the best with your plans and do keep us posted.

Comment from Queenjustine - 29 Mar 2006

Well I've taken the plunge and contacted Birth Afterthoughts at the hospital, they are coming round mid april to discuss my options. Feel better already knowing I'm being taken seriously and don't feel like I'm being an idiot!

Comment from Leigh - 29 Mar 2006

Excellent news. Not heard of Birth Afterthoughts. What do they do?

Comment from Queenjustine - 30 Mar 2006

I was given a leaflet about them after I had my daughter. Basically it's a service where you can see a midwife and she will go through your maternity notes with you and discuss any issues. Not sure if every hospital does it though, but this team are based at the maternity hospital. I contacted them when I had ptsd but it wasn't the right thing for me as they go through your notes from a pure medical standpoint rather than how you've been left feeling. Where it is good is that they also offer the service of discussing a detailed birth plan even before you get pregnant again obviously eleviating a lot of the worry which would probably not aid conception! Even better they're coming here as I'm still too nervous to go into that part of the hospital again - I'm getting better I managed to take my husband to a&e but it was 2 days after I passed me driving test so was more worried about getting there alive than going in!

Comment from Leigh - 31 Mar 2006

That sounds like an excellent service. I had heard of the process of going through your notes after a birth etc. but didn't realise that they would also work on future birth plans with you.

Good luck with your plans.